Letting Go: The Hardest Part of Loving Someone in Addiction

Letting go. It sounds so simple, yet for those of us who love someone struggling with addiction, it can feel like the hardest thing in the world.

When I first heard the phrase “detach with love,” I didn’t understand what it meant. How could I possibly let go of someone I love so deeply? Wouldn't that mean abandoning them? Giving up?

But over time—and through my own healing—I learned that letting go isn’t about walking away. It’s about releasing the need to control, fix, or carry someone else’s pain.

As a recovery coach and someone who grew up in a family affected by addiction, I’ve witnessed how easy it is to get lost in someone else’s chaos. We become so focused on helping them that we forget us. Our health suffers. Our relationships strain. Our peace disappears.

But there is another way.

Letting go is an act of courage. It’s choosing to love someone without losing yourself. It’s setting boundaries, not as a punishment, but as protection—for both of you. It’s learning to say: “I love you, and I trust you to find your way. I’ll be here when you're ready.”

In recovery, we often say, "You can’t do someone else’s healing for them.” And it’s true. But what we can do is focus on our own growth, our own clarity, our own peace. That is where real change begins.

Letting go is not the end of love.

It’s the beginning of hope.

If this speaks to you, you’re not alone.

I work with individuals and families who are ready to take the next step in their healing—whether that means setting boundaries, finding clarity, or learning how to support a loved one without losing themselves in the process.

If you’d like to connect for coaching, join a support group, or simply have a conversation, I’m here.

Let’s walk this path together.

Work with me.

With love and clarity,

Carolin Pettersson

Recovery Coach | Family Support | Addiction Healing